5 Times McCoy Was Fluent in Vulcan
by madwriter223
Summary: And 1 Time More Just For Fun'  implied Spock/McCoy, mostly humor, teensy bit of romanse. SLASH


**WARNING: The last part contains SLASH INTERCOURSE, but it's not that graphic. And it's pretty short.**

**5 Times McCoy Was Fluent in Vulcan, and 1 Time More Just For Fun**

1.

McCoy and Kirk were sitting in the galley, discussing they latest mission over a meal. The Doctor kept eying Kirk's big juicy steak with slight distaste, and launched into a detailed description of what will happen to his body if the stupid brat of a Captain didn't control his cholesterol intake.

Suddenly, McCoy caught sight of the next person to enter the galley, and he grinned.

"Well, I'll be damned." He murmured, waving to Spock to come join them. The Vulcan nodded back at them, then took his 'veggie mix of the day' out of the replicator.

As soon as the Vulcan was seated at their table, McCoy leaned closer conspiratorially. "So, tell me what has you laughing so hard?"

Spock raised an eyebrow, face as impassive as ever.

Kirk looked at the Doctor as if he was crazy. "Laughing, Bones?"

"Oh please, Jim. He looks about ready to roll across the floor in a fit of giggles." He turned back to the Vulcan. "So spill."

Spock blinked once, then gave a single nod. "Very well, Doctor. On my way to the galley, I was witness to-"

2.

It was a harrowing mission. Hell, it was a harrowing three missions, one after another. The crew got very little sleep, the COs even less, and pretty much half the crew was ready to drop. Jim was aware of that, and he was thankful that despite everything, his crew were still doing their very best. He was even more thankful for Spock. Through all the missions, Spock had stood at the Captain's side, steady as a rock and reliable as... well, Spock. Nothing could get his Vulcan down, least of some missing some sleep.

It was good not being human, sometimes.

He continued thinking that until Spock and he went down to Sickbay to check on some reports McCoy was working on. As soon as they walked into the Doctor's private office, McCoy cursed and grabbed Spock's arm, showing him into a nearby chair.

"Good God, man! Sit down before you fall down. Jim, what the Hell were you thinking dragging him here? He should be asleep!"

"Buh- Bones, c'mon, he's fine. Look at him."

"I am looking, you idiot. Unlike you, apparently." McCoy glanced Spock up and down. "I estimate about an hour, two tops, and you'd have to deal with an unconscious Vulcan. Do you have any idea how much the green-blooded buggers weigh with their muscle density? You'd need three grown men just to lift him off the floor!"

Jim frowned in utter confusion. "I think you're exaggerating."

"Jim, shut up. I know this mission is important, but I think you can spare a few hours to let the resident pointy-ear get some sleep."

Kirk looked to Spock, hoping his Science Officer would support him on this. But the Vulcan was silent, not once did he protest the Doctor's words. But he usually- oh.

"Yeah, okay. Four hours enough?"

"It's a start." McCoy grumbled, and Spock gave a single nod of agreement.

Kirk took that as a dismissal and went.

3.

McCoy happened upon a small furry creature. He scanned it with his tricorder, chuckling when the little thing started rubbing against his leg. Friendly little thing, ain't he? Didn't mean McCoy was gonna be stupid enough to bring it onto the _Enterprise_. They had had enough problems with those damn tribbles to risk another cute thing on board.

Next to him, Spock paused in scanning the local everything and whipped out his communicator.

"Ensign Merringa, report."

"I am in the established Gamma perimeter, Sir. Tricorder functioning properly, and all scans results are sent up to the labs without problems."

"Have you discovered anything of value?"

"Negative, sir. I have however gathered several samples that seem interesting. I won't know without proper tests."

"Very well. If you locate anything, inform me immediately."

"Yes, Sir. Merringa out."

Spock closed his communicator and went back to his own scans.

McCoy glanced at the Vulcan, then smirked. "Stop worrying so much, Spock. I know it's his first time planetside, but he's perfectly safe. And doing well, from the sign of things."

Spock raised an eyebrow, but otherwise refused to answer.

"Yeah, yeah, you big Mamma-Bear, you." McCoy guffawed softly, and went back to his furry cuddly thing. "I'm sure the baby of your department will be fine."

Lieutenant 'Cupcake' glanced between them both, then chuckled under his breath.

4.

"You have no shame, do you Jim?" McCoy asked as he walked over to the table the Captain and First Officer were sitting.

Jim looked away from viewing the local beauties of Peclora VI, and grinned up at his best friend in the whole wide world. "What ever could you mean, Bones?" He asked, voice slurring only slightly.

The Doctor made an annoyed face. "Getting a Vulcan drunk, you idiot."

Jim frowned in drunken confusion, and looked over to the Vulcan. Spock was as expressionless as ever, face not even flushed from all the local booze they had swallowed. "Oh please, he's not even tipsy."

"Are you blind, man? He's halfway under the table already." McCoy snapped, and grabbed Spock's elbow, pulling him out of his chair. The Vulcan stumbled minutely, then stood straight, no even wavering a little.

"I'm taking him up to the ship to sober up before shore leave ends tomorrow. I'd tell you to do the same, but I know you won't listen."

Jim was already not paying attention, staring at a very busty waitress. The Doctor shrugged, and led the sloshed Vulcan away.

5.

Their current newly met alien was ten feet tall, strong as ten Vulcans, and very cranky.

McCoy ducked from a boulder thrown at his head.

_Very_ cranky.

McCoy jumped into a dried up riverbed, pressing close to the bank. Moments later, Spock joined him, though the Vulcan kept his phaser raised. McCoy looked at the impassive face, and grimaced. "Never thought I'd see you scared out of your mind."

Spock glanced at him briefly, then went back to staring at the monster.

McCoy patted his thigh. "Calm down, alright? We'll get out of this mess, you'll see."

Spock didn't reply, just shot the thing again.

McCoy nodded tiredly. "Yeah, I'm freaked too."

+1

McCoy groaned as he sunk into the willing body. He started moving, the heat of the Vulcan's flesh nearly searing around his organ. He pulled halfway out and pushed back in firmly slowly, drawing the sensation out.

Spock sighed at the movement, his eyes falling shut.

McCoy grinned. "God, I love how loud you are." He said breathlessly, thrusting forward again.

Spock answered with a hitch in his breathing, his legs falling wider open in a voiceless demand for more.

McCoy obliged, loving how slutty his Vulcan looked and sounded.


End file.
